Kritiker School
by Anna Hibiki
Summary: Some bishies thought that the real world would be based in Harry Potter, but when they go to the Kritiker School of Witchcraft they see how different things are. AU, Yaoi, NOT a HP crossover! R&R please!
1. Part 1

Kritiker School

By: Anna Hibiki

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimers: Weiss is not mine! Koyasu-sama and other people with much more money than me owns it, BUT, one day it'll be mine!! *insert evil laugh here* Also, and just in case anyone wants to sue me even if this is not Harry Potter and I don't pretend it to be, not even a fucking crossover, DON'T. I'm poor.

Warnings: Shounen-ai/Yaoi, language.

Notes: Anything written in Italic are thoughts. 

This fic can be read in my page, mediaminer.org and ff.net.

Part One

A young blonde stepped into the enormous restaurant of the Kritiker School of Witchcraft. He blinked in amazement at what he was seeing.

The place wasn't what he'd expected.

After reading all the Harry Potter books he'd thought that this place would be like the Hogwarts JK Rowling had portrayed in her books.

But no, this wasn't Hogwarts. It was Japan, and this was Kritiker.

The restaurant looked pretty much like a normal one. White walls, good illumination, five long tables where the nearly thousand students, were slowly taking their seats after they acquired their trays with lunch after the LONG wait to get them from the cooks. Didn't they use any kind of uniform? 

Where were the elves, the food that appeared magically at the tables, the weird foods wizards ate and drank? Because what they carried on the trays looked like pasta. And there were no books that said that a wizard ate pasta. He knew that.

Omi continued thinking about how weird the place was for the nearly twenty minutes it took him to get his own food, and after taking a glass and a little bottle of water he began the difficult task of finding a place to sit.

The first place he found was at the second table. In fact, there was a BIG place to sit, about one meter at each side of a scary-looking redhead. But he quickly discarded the idea, the guy looked too scary for comfort and he wanted his first moments at the school to be as nice as possible.

A few minutes later he found a free spot at the fourth table, that seemed to be less crowded than others and headed towards there, this time not minding whoever he had around, just wanting to eat before the pasta lost its warmth. "Etoo… excuse me," he said to the brunette sitting there "is this place occupied?"

Chocolate brown eyes glanced at him. "No, you can sit there if you want to." He said scooting to his right a little to make more room for Omi.

Omi sighed in relief. "Thank you!" he said brightly.

The brunette shrugged and resumed eating.

"Etoo… doesn't this place have house elves or something?" he started again, not being able to contain his curiosity.

The older boy blinked at him thrice and started to laugh. "You're a first year, ne?"

Omi's cheeks flushed slightly, not understanding why the other was laughing at him. "What's so funny?"

"Were you expecting this place would be like the Harry Po- how was it..?" he asked Omi.

"Potter."

The boy grinned at him. "That, Potter. This is the reality kid. But you'll see that when you've been in here longer. By the way, your name is?"

"Tsukiyono Omi." He said, starting to be more comfortable around the brunette.

"I'm Hidaka Ken, from the Nara residence." He glanced at the gaijin that had just sat opposite them who was busy speaking at the cell phone and motioned Omi to look at him. "That's Schuldig, from the Meiji residence, and I suppose you're about to meet-"

"The gorgeous Kudou Youji, also from the Nara residence?" A voice asked behind them.

Ken rolled his eyes. "And that's Youji."

"Oi KenKen! It's been two months since we saw each other and you welcome me like this?"

Ken stuck his tongue out at him.

The tall blonde decided to ignore his friend for the moment and turned to look at Omi. "Can you make more room for me chibi?"

Omi moved to his left so Youji sat between him and Ken. 

"So," Youji turned to look at him "in which residence are you?"

Omi swallowed the pasta in his mouth before he answered. "Heian."

"Not a bad place." Schuldig, who had just finished speaking by the phone, joined the conversation. "Though I personally prefer the Asuka."

"But he was lucky that he didn't go to the Edo." Ken commented. "The truth is that I wouldn't live in there for nothing, not even money."

"Yeah, the ladies from that place told me that at nights you can hear the residence spirit screaming for revenge." Youji said laughing.

Ken and Schuldig started chuckling. "Don't tell anyone, but there is no spirit, it's just Fujimiya, the guy talks in his sleep and it's always the same. Takatori shi-ne! Shi-ne this! Shiiiiiiiiineeeeeee that!" the German imitated Fujimiya.

"And who's that?"

"You see… that redheaded guy at the first table who has all that space for himself?" Ken pointed at the place.

"Yeah…"

"That's Fujimiya Ran, the scariest guy that has ever put his feet in Kritiker, and one of our friends."

Omi gulped. Perhaps this guys weren't as nice as he had thought, if they said they were friends with the Fujimiya guy.

"No, chibi, we're not like him."

"Can you imagine us carrying katanas and scaring all the people around?" Ken asked, amused by the look Omi was giving them.

"I…"

"In the worst of cases you can imagine Youji or me chasing the ladies (but never scaring them!) or Ken kicking his ball around- well, that really is scary, but that's all. We're just… how to say this…"

"Taming." Youji offered.

"Yeah, taming Ran."

"And don't forget about Farf!"

Ken cringed. "If there's anyone more creepy than Fujimiya it's Farfello."

"And who's that?"

"You'll see him later, he never eats in here. He lives at the Momoyama residence."

"You're scaring me guys."

Schuldig laughed. "There's nothing to be afraid of kid! Anyway, do you know anyone in here?"

Omi shook his head. "Only the three of you."

"Well, don't worry. You can be with us all the time you want." Ken said before he took a long sip at his Pepsi. "It'll be nice to meet someone new instead of being all the time with the eternal repeater, the old German hentai, the knife-licking psycho and the shi-ne man."

"You forgot about the soccer loving loveless psycho." Youji pointed out and slowly, a malicious smirk tugged at his lips. "Or did something happen this summer that you didn't tell Yo-tan?"

Ken blushed at the question. "I have more important things to do than sex."

"Ken, there's NOTHING more important than sex in this world." Schuldig joined the teasing.

"Or maybe there is someone he likes but it's one-sided, is our little KenKen suffering an unrequited love? Who's the girl?"

Ken's cheeks reddened impossibly more and his dish and glass started to tremble slightly. "Leave me alone…" he whispered.

Omi's face paled. "W-what-"

Youji turned to talk to him with a grin on his lips, but there was some alarm in his emerald green eyes. "When Ken gets angry, he tends to lose control. These things happen to everybody that has been studying here for more than a year." He said nonchalantly.

"B-but that's scary Youji-kun."

The taller blonde shrugged. "Guess you're right, maybe we're just used to it."

Schuldig reached out and touched Ken's dish and glass with a finger, and it surprised the newcomer to see that they stilled with just that simple touch. "I think it's fun."

Youji nodded. "Yeah, as long as things doesn't get too serious it is."

Ken slowly looked up at Omi. "Have you unpacked your things already?"

Omi shook his head, a little hesitant after what he'd seen his new friend do.

"Then you should do it as soon as you can. If you hurry you can chose your room instead of taking the only one available. Keep in mind that you'll have to live in that room until you graduate." Youji said sourly.

"Why do you talk like that? Couldn't you choose your room?" Omi asked curiously.

"I was busy talking with a lady and when I tried to get the room I wanted, I found out that the only one available was KenKen's."

Omi blinked at him stupidly. "And what's so bad about Ken-kun? Aren't you friends?" he jumped in fear when the large seat where the students sat started to tremble.

"Well.. we weren't then. We knew each other from our last year of high school- don't look at me like that chibi, I've repeated a few times, and we weren't in good terms." He chuckled and ruffled Ken's hair. "But the truth is that he's adorable once you get to know him."

Ken murmured something under his breath. "Hn."

"Yeah, but anyway it was a good thing that I was here to keep them from killing each other."

"No, you weren't. What really happened was that the Divination teacher sat you between us and you didn't let us alone since that."

"Yeah, and a year later Farf and Ran stuck to us."

A huge sweatdrop fell down the back of Omi's head. Were these guys that weird or was it a normal thing in there?

"Etoo… I think I better go and unpack my things before all the rooms are chosen." He said as he rose to his feet and took his tray. "See you later guys!" he suddenly turned to look at them. "Where-"

"An hour before dinner, at the last couch behind the plants." Schuldig informed him.

"Okay, bye!" Omi hurried out of the restaurant and headed for the Heian residence, following the different instructions the panels at the hall's walls gave.

As he took his belongings from the keeper of Heian, Omi was almost scared of how the residences would be once inside. 

Tsu zu ku…

Do you like it? Which pairings would you like to see in this fic? For anything you wanna say, REVIEW please! I'm always open to ideas ^^ And for more info on updates and previews of future chapters, feel free to go to my blog.

Hasta luego!


	2. Part 2

Kritiker School

By: Anna Hibiki

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimers: Weiss is not mine! Koyasu-sama and other people with much more money than me owns it, BUT, one day it'll be mine!! insert evil laugh here Also, and just in case anyone wants to sue me even if this is not Harry Potter and I don't pretend it to be, not even a fucking crossover, DON'T. I'm poor.

Warnings: Shounen-ai/Yaoi, language.

Notes: Anything written in Italic are thoughts.

This fic can be read in my page, mediaminer.org and ff.net.

Part Two

"Soo… now that we are alone, how was your summer KenKen?" Youji smirked at Ken as they walked towards the Nara residence, patting his friend's back playfully. "It was impossible to talk to you "

Ken flinched slightly, slapping the blonde's hand away. "The usual. Soccer, soccer, a week working in a gym and more soccer."

Youji blinked at the brunette. "So you were at home?"

Ken shrugged. "Yeah… You look surprised, is it that weird to spend the holydays resting?"

"Mmm… well, coming from you it's not, the surprise would come if it had been ME." The playboy flashed the receptionist a grin as they entered the residence and went to pick their stuff from the big white room where it was kept until the students went to pick them and their keys. "Anyway, weren't you going to go somewhere with Kase? And I thought he would come this year too. That's kinda weird, ne?"

Ken rummaged through the different suitcases until he found his. "What did you do this summer Youji?" He asked his friend distractedly.

"I've been at the beach the whole summer. Clubs, sex, ladies over eighteen, that guy from Osaka, drinks, sun…" Youji sighed delightedly "Paradise KenKen. Paradise."

"Hn. I'm done, are you?"

Youji grabbed yet another suitcase before he was ready to leave too.

The two friends borrowed their keys from the receptionist and took the elevator to the second floor.

"What do you think of the new boy?" Youji asked. "Looks like a nice person to me."

Ken shrugged. "We don't know him yet. And I don't trust first impressions, you never know how people can end up being."

Youji chuckled. "That's what I call a good way to start the classes. How can you be in such a bad mood the first day?"

The brunette grinned. "Having to bear with you for another year does that to me."

"Shut up, you know you're glad that you can have me as a roommate."

Ken rolled his eyes and turned to unlock their room's door. "You wish."

"Whatever you say KenKen." Youji chuckled.

The soccer player entered the room 5A, ignoring Youji.

.::.::.::.::.

When Omi entered into the Heian residence, he'd been surprised to find another big, white room with tall glass windows and doors that let him see the garden outside. [1]

To the left was a white marble counter where a thirty-something woman sat and an open door to the white room where the Keeper had been helping first years to take find their stuff.

"Uh.. excuse me-"

The Keeper nodded in understanding. "First year? Go find a room and when you decide where you want to live put your name on the door. Remember that the moment you chose you won't be able to change."

"Yes, thanks.."

There was a small card with his name attached to all of his suitcases by a fine chain.

To that chain was also attached a piece of white plastic with black western letters where the blonde could read his name.

Omi left the room and headed for the rooms area. It was nice to see that he could chose between going in an elevator or the stairs.

In the first floor it was impossible to find an empty room. All of them where already chosen or belonged to older students.

At the second floor there were a few rooms that girls, being faster than boys had taken, and since Omi wasn't going to sleep in the same room as a girl (even if it wasn't prohibited in this school) he went for the third floor.

Omi almost jumped when he reached the very end of the long corridor and saw that the door to the room 7E was open and there seemed to be nobody. He entered the room and dropped his suitcases to the floor.

As he did bathroom's door opened and a short boy with light brown hair stepped into the room.

Omi frowned. He had expected the room to be empty, but no, he'd have to go look at the fourth floor. "Sorry, I thought the room was empty."

The shorter boy shrugged. "It isn't."

"I see that. I'll leave you alone." The blonde said bending down to grab his belongings.

"You don't have to, I don't mind."

Omi stared at the boy. He was younger than him and looked much quieter, so maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to share the room with him. "Okay, then I'll stay here. Tsukiyono Omi." He said smiling brightly and offering his hand.

The other boy looked at the blonde and turned away to start unpacking. "Naoe Nagi. That is my bed." He said pointing to the bed closest to the window. "And put your name on the door."

Omi sighed as he placed his name into the glass where Nagi had put his previously.

The floor, the walls, the door, the bed, the window, the desks… everything was white. "Is everything white in this place? It's starting to make me nervous!"

There was no answer from Nagi.

Omi sighed again, took his key from his desk and put his card into the little glass attached to the key like he'd seen Nagi do. Perhaps it hadn't been such a great idea to chose this room with such a roommate. It would be boring to say the least.

A few minutes later, a tall, redhaired woman entered the room. "First years?"

Both boys nodded.

"Okay. Naoe Nagi and Tsukiyono Omi… room 7E" she wrote something on the folder she carried. "Great. I'm the responsible of the Heian residence. You can call me Manx. If you have any problem it's me the one you have to talk to."

The boys nodded again and Manx left the room without any other word.

.::.::.::.::.

Schuldig borrowed a cigarette from Youji as they waited for the others to arrive to the place where they always meet.

Ran hadn't said anything, but he always appeared sooner or later. Farfello was unpacking his stuff and would arrive in a few minutes. And Ken had gone with the captain of the soccer team, an Australian guy, to chose the days and hours for the soccer team's training and would come later.

"Do you think the new kid will come too?" Youji asked Schuldig.

The German chuckled. "Well, we scared him, but he'll come, I'm sure."

Youji took a last drag at his cigarette and left it on the ashtray. "Ken says he doesn't trust the chibi." He said chuckling.

Schuldig laughed. "Ken doesn't trust anyone man. Anyway I don't think this kid will bring us problems, as long as he doesn't get near little Ran, that is."

"Ohh… afraid the chibi will take Fujimiya away from you?" There was irony on the blonde's tone.

"No… but you can never know with these chibis."

"You talk like the guy is yours."

"That's just a matter of time Youji. I bet I fuck him before the next summer."

"And what do we bet?"

"Mmm… dunno… the one who loses pays the other a week in Hawaii?"

"Hawaii? Deal! Pays a week in Hawaii for TWO persons. I'm gonna have such fun this summer…"

"I don't think so Youji. You look too sure."

Youji smirked. "Because I've seen something you have."

"Really? And what did you see?"

"Let's say that this summer someone has been visiting Ran. I discovered it the last two weeks of holidays when I went back home."

Schuldig looked curious. "And who was that?"

Youji tried hard not to laugh as he put in the most serious expression nobody had ever seen him. "Kudou, if you keep on trying to see who you will have in your bed tonight instead of doing your divinations homework I'll have you studying monkeys intestines until your roommate develops something that can be called intelligence." He said in a low, scary and slightly accented tone, imitating their 'Divination and Astrology' teacher.

Schuldig started to laugh. "REALLY?! Who would have thought that Ran would be with Crawfo-" Suddenly he stopped laughing. "Wait, what the fuck was that bastard doing at Ran's home?"

"Well, that I don't know, but can think of so- Hey Ran! Farf!" Youji greeted the redhead, who had just arrived with Farfello.

Tsu zu ku…

[1] I'll explain everything about the school, classes, residences and rooms in future chapters, or even draw them if I feel like it.

How was it? Don't forget to review, and for info on updates and stuff, go to my blog.

Now to thank the reviewers! (since there were so many I'm doing it different than usual)

Tygrrlyli578: Don't worry, all our bishies know about the pleasures of shonen ai and yaoi  and about more than two people getting together, is a possibility I've have in my mind since the start of the fic… 

AolaniDathomir: I'm glad you like it! There are girls at the school, but they won't be showing up much Brad and Nagi are already in the fic. Pairings… even though the SchuNagi is a pairing I'm getting to like lately I already have plans for Schu in this fic. AyaOmi… dunno… YoujiOmi… no comment. Getting them drunk would be great… even or BECAUSE they lose it and start doing yaoi things… well, as always thanks for your support on my fics! hugs

**ko0okai: **RanKen? Haven't decided anything about those bishies yet… SchuYouji? Can't say anything either.

Kenzan: Thanks! KenOmi? I already have plans for Omi… but I'm afraid Ken and the chibi will be just friends.

**kasugai**** gummie:** Glad you like it! I corrected the chapter, it happens to EVERYBODY and the reasons will be explained in next chapter As I said to Kenzan, there'll be no KenOmi, gomen!

**Syberian**** X:** Can't say anything about the RanKen other than it's not a pairing I like… The OmiNagi has more possibilities though Brad is in the fic.

meron pan daisuki!!!: I'm glad you like the fic! FarfKen? Dunno…

**chibikaifan****:** The residences and all that stuff will be explained soon.I like all the pairing suggestions you give… anyway I haven't decided yet.

**hidakayuushi****:** Thanks! Sorry, but there'll be no KenOmi.. sorry for taking so long in updating!

**silly**** goose:** RanKen? points to what she's said to those who asked for RanKen pairing

**redplanet****:** I really, REALLY like your suggestion sorry for the long wait!

dark wings alias raat ke rani: Narnia? Tell me more about it Sorry for the wait! Brad and Nagi are in the fic and I take note about Brad!

**kat-jen-insane****: **that would make sense, ne? thanks!

**Deesje****:** ; points to what she's said to all the people asking for RanKen SchuYouji? I already have plans for Schu…

**Shaynie****:** I'm glad that someone noticed the eras thing. It will be explained soon, don't worry. In next chapter the powers and all that stuff will be explained. But I can tell you that things won't be like Omi expects.

**Vault 173:** Sorry for the long wait!


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